French word of the day: Séisme
Published: 3 April 2025
Practically a miracle, the sun is shining in Paris! Yes, It has been an amazing couple of weeks here, and I don’t say this lightly. After nearly 2 years of Le Parisien newspaper noting that we’ve been breaking records for rain, we have suddenly 40% more sunshine than usual. Hallelujah!
It is still only in the low 60°s (around 15°C) in the afternoons, but it is better than being in a soggy cloudy depression.
(For some reason, the incessant rain started around the same time we moved to the ‘burbs, leading my kids to comment that it felt like we’d moved to Brittany.)
Anyway, as much as we would like to ignore it, there was a political earthquake (un séisme) this past Monday here in France.
The Headline: Ultra-right Presidential candidate Marine Le Pen (aka the youngest daughter of infamous ultra-right Presidential candidate Jean-Marie Le Pen), has been found guilty of “misusing public funds.” More specifically, having parlimentary assistants work on political campaigns instead of EU Parliament projects.
Among the parliamentary assistants accused of receiving these funds:
- her sister
- her close friend
- her partner
- the father’s personal assistant
- the father’s secretary
- the father’s cabinet director
- the father’s bodyguard
The Sentence: Banned from running for public office for 5 years, with sanctions starting immediately before appeal. So that would include the 2027 Presidential elections.
Petit recap: French presidential elections are two rounds, held every 5 years. Le Pen has twice made it to the 2nd round in 2017 and 2022, only to lose to current President Emmanuel Macron. Due to a 2-term limit, Macron is not allowed to run for a 3rd term and the door is wide open for a new President in 2027.
Funny enough, it was Le Pen herself who previously advocated for lifetime bans for convicted politicians. (“Rules for thee, not for me”.)
But with her popularity only growing among a segment of the population, a “legal disqualification” is not making her supporters or opponents happy. So far everyone from the Russian Kremlin, far-left candidate Mélenchon, and center-left Prime Minister Bayrou have issued statements saying they are “troubled” by the verdict against Le Pen.
Freight-train incoming: like the Streisand effect, this may actually put her party Rassemblement National (RN) over the top.
Enter stage right her already designated stand-in: the helpfully bland 29-year old Jordan Bardella. There are no age limits in French presidential elections. (Gossip: Bardella is in a relationship with Le Pen’s niece, making him practically family.) He will be 31 in 2027.
Beyond avoiding the “Le Pen” name, there is a more excruciatingly banal reason that Bardella could win the 2027 Presidential election after his almost-aunt failed 3 times with the same programme: The French have never elected a female President of France.
And there have only ever been 2 female French Prime Ministers appointed (not elected), for a measly combined total of 29 months in office.
For all the talk about égalité, this is quite unlike our British and German neighbours where Margaret Thatcher and Angela Merkel won multiple elections.
But what will get conspiracy theorists going is that this is 4th election in recent history where a poll-leading presidential candidate has been derailed by their run-ins with the legal system. There was:
- 2017 election: “Penelopegate” where right-wing candidate François Fillion was charged for giving his British wife Penelope a fictitious job paid for by taxpayers.
- 2012 election: the “Affaire DSK” or DSK-gate, where socialist candidate Dominique Strauss-Kahn was arrested (later acquitted) for sexually assaulting a hotel maid in New York.
- 2007 election: Ring-wing Alain Juppé was found guilty of giving fictitious jobs with the Mairie of Paris, and disallowed from running for President.
Along with keeping our voting cards handy, the French also have to keep score of legal verdicts.
To add fuel to the fire, the judges’ impartiality is being questioned. In June 2024 the Syndicat de la Magistrature (Judges’ union) issued a letter where they “call on all magistrates to mobilize against the rise to power of the extreme right”.
This is maybe not such a great look in the impartiality sweepstakes.
“Justice must not only be done, but must also be seen to be done”.
Up next: Le Pen is going to be appealing the verdict to the French and European courts. In addition, far-left candidate Mélenchon too is facing the same type of charges of misuse of funds. (Fyi, current center-left Bayrou was found not guilty in 2024 of the same misuse of funds charges, but others in his party were convicted.)
What I want to know is how can I get one of these fictitious jobs? There seem to be plenty going around!
In other news:
- If you’re heading to the Château de Versailles this summer, keep a lookout for a special visit to the Salle du Congrès and president’s apartment which will be open to the public for a limited time. (The Salle du Congrès is where France holds the equivalent of a joint congress and State of the union.)
- Dozens of jewels have been found hidden in an ancient garden wall that was being repaired in Dordogne France. They are looking for the owners, so step up now if you’ve previously buried your jewels in your backyard.
- There is a pretty amusing anti-French trend on Tiktok, along with the French riposte.
- Interesting timing: the Danish King and Queen stopped by the Elysée Palace this week for a state dinner with Emmanuel Macron. Apparently they agreed to buy some French missiles.
- If you want, you can buy a 4000 sq ft World War II military bunker in Tourcoing, northern France for a mere €266.000. The ad is listed by a private individual on Le Boncoin, the French version of Craigslist.
- And on that note, the French government is preparing a booklet on “how to survive during a crisis or armed conflict”, to be distributed across the country. Buying that bunker may come in handy…
And in the blog:
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This delicious pork pasta combines the juices of the pork with spinach and various spices to create a wonderful hearty dish the whole family will love.
Air fryer garlic eggplant (aubergine) fries
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